I write sweet and steamy rom-coms with tear-jerker happy-ever-afters.
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where i play the role of romance author, reader, and geek

Love is forgiveness.

8/15/2015

4 Comments

 
So...I just came back from Sunday mass / service with my family, and it's really amazing how God works because today's teaching has answered a question I didn't notice was bothering me until now. 
When I read reviews of my work and emails from readers, one of the more common complaints and questions has to do with my heroines. Why are they so weak? And reading between the lines I'm guessing by 'weak' they're asking why do my heroines forgive so easily? 
Take for instance Stavros and Willow's story. He's fucked another girl right where Willow can hear it. 
How can she forgive this? How can she still love him after this?
And so forth. You can probably cite all my books and you'll easily find something similar. 
When I get this question, I typically don't reply - if I ever did, I can't remember to be honest; maybe once or twice, when I was just naive and starting out. 
I don't reply because I believe we all have the right to think and feel the way we do, and there's no need for me to justify why I chose to write my story in any particular away.
However, after today's service, I realize that I at least owe it to everyone to explain, just once, and then the link will go to my FAQ post. 
And now, for the answer, let's watch this first.
This video made me cry in church. >.< I hate crying in public, but I guess it was appropriate I was able to watch this now because it's enlightened me on how to best define my work.
If you've watched the video, you'd have seen the cruel pleasure Jesus' tormentors had in whipping and causing Him pain. But here's the question - do you believe Jesus hates them for what they've done? Do you believe Jesus stopped loving them?
Luke 23:34 Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.
The answer is NO.
And that is what I hope the characters in my works exemplify. That is what I hope my stories are able to deliver across.  God loves us despite us our many shortcomings, failures, and imperfections. God forgives us even when we haven't earned His forgiveness. 
If God is able to forgive and without question, how can we NOT do this as well? How can we at least NOT TRY?
Now, I'm not saying that forgiveness is to condone evil. OF COURSE NOT. God Himself gives us challenges in life to make us reflect and repent, to desire forgiveness and seek atonement. 
What I am saying is that FORGIVENESS IS LOVE.  If to forgive easily to make a person weak in someone else's eyes, so be it. This is nothing to be ashamed of. I can't say that I am able to follow this myself in real life - it's a personal struggle for me, too, but I try. And with God's grace, I hope eventually I'm able to forgive AND love as easily as the characters in my book do.
The end. :)
A blessed Sunday to you all!
4 Comments
Curious Cat
12/2/2015 11:42:38 pm

I do not agree. It's not just about the forgiving part. It's also how weak your heroines are in the general sense. As a woman, I am offended. I can be weak, forgiving and vulnerable but never just another Bella Swan or Anastasia Steele.

You have a gift for writing and sometimes, there are snippets wherein I can see that. I just hope that you'd use it. Especially since we both came from the Philippines, where stories like these are just produced in the form of pocketbook novels, teleseryes and more for the sake of getting money.

I hope to see you at your best. I will be waiting.

Love,

Always Disappointed Fan but Still a Fan because Filipino

Reply
Maggie McKenzie
12/13/2015 04:27:36 pm

I've never thought of your heroines as weak. Once, before I married my husband, I was informed that at a party my husband had " hooked up " with another woman. My first reaction was blow him away. Unfortunately I was already pregnant with his first child ( married before, divorced single parent with 3 children ) .I like your heroines, was faced with the choice of forgiveness or go forth as a single parent again.
After much soul searching and crying and everything you just know goes with this, I decided to forgive and move on. Why? Because I couldn't face living the rest of my life with him in it. Simple as that.
Does that make me weak? I don't think so, and this year we will be celebrating 22 years of marriage. And I still can't imagine the future without him. But he knows that if it was ever to happen again, we'd be over, finished, done forever. My point is, you can't judge a character/person as weak until you find yourself facing that yourself ..... plus I just love a happy ending (sob, I'm a wuzz) and I love Marian Tee's books

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Obviously Anonymous Wanker
9/3/2017 11:59:16 am

Isn't it un-Christian to use God and the Bible to justify something that's not holy? Spiritual debates aside, I guess it's okay to provide readers with destructive representations of people (especially women) as long as you earn money from being a bestseller. Sorry not sorry, but just stop using your church to justify something that's clearly wrong (LOL at your erotica). No problem with weak heroines, but just how you portray them and that's disgusting. Forgiveness, my ass. Read your bible.

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Ryella
1/6/2018 02:16:36 pm

I think we will have to agree to disagree. I know this was written a couple of years ago but I've just finished reading some of your books and I have to say I'm disappointed to read that you justify your heroines lack of backbone with forgiveness. Why is it that it's only your heroines who have to constantly come in second to everyone else in the heroes lives? Why do they always have to compromise? There is strength in being loyal and that, unfortunately, is something your heroes lack. Every. Single. Time.
Having said that, I do enjoy your writing style and still read your books because I do enjoy the angst of it all :) I just wish, for once, you'd write a loyal hero and a heroine who stood up for herself instead of cries all the time.

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