Note: This post is a reflection on the sermon delivered by Pastor R. Chan at Grace Gospel Church. This is Part 3 of 3.
Hardened hearts pursue the interest of men, rather than the interests of God, in the name of Jesus. - Bill Lawrence.
Pastor R had a question for his listeners that particularly struck me:
Are you longing for something more than a mediocre life?
Well, it is there, available.
Well, it is there, available.
But first, let me go back to Part 1 of my post. One of the reasons I thought of writing that post only after BOOK 3 is released is because my sales for Books 1 and 2 of Pollyanna and the Greek Billionaire are less than stellar. BUT then church happened, God spoke to me, and here I am! :D
Now, to give you an idea of how Polly 1 did in comparison to my most recent series, let's say that for every copy of Polly 1 sold, My Dutch Billionaire 1 sold 3 to 5 copies, more or less (it varies because of the time of the day).
BUT there are other factors to consider, such as---
Now, to give you an idea of how Polly 1 did in comparison to my most recent series, let's say that for every copy of Polly 1 sold, My Dutch Billionaire 1 sold 3 to 5 copies, more or less (it varies because of the time of the day).
BUT there are other factors to consider, such as---
- My Dutch Billionaire was priced at $.99 while Polly 1 is at $2.99
- MDB benefited from more lead-in promo, like posts and teasers in social media and my newsletters
- Polly 1 was released in replacement for Prince of Darkness and Polly 2 was released during Thanksgiving / Black Friday, which one US writer has told me that is extremely bad for book sales because most people are away from home (it's even worse than Christmas, they say)
- Nov - Dec are supposedly low seasons for book sales (I hear this all the time, BUT the truth is, I've never been affected by this until now. In the past, every time I released a new book, it was all good.)
- LOTS OF MAJOR CHANGES HAPPENING. I think this is mostly because of Amazon's Kindle Unlimited program, to be honest. But unfortunately, the only thing we can do is ride it out and just keep writing the books we love.
So, I was hoping I could have better news to share about Book 3, out of pride.
Here I am, talking about how thankful I am that God helped me write Polly 1-3 but then Books 1 and 2 sold less than MDB, which I also wrote during very bad times. PARANG ANG LABO, DI BA?
But then yes, I attended service this morning, and everything became clear, especially when Pastor R asked us to choose between PRODUCTIVITY and FRUITFULNESS.
For me, PRODUCTIVITY is working to primarily reward yourself. FRUITFULNESS is working to primarily reward others or for other people to benefit.
And this was my mistake when I was writing Prince of Darkness.
If you remember, I mentioned how I wanted POD to be this not-shallow-romance, able to inspire people to do or be certain things. And my God, I was so caught up with this idea that I forgot MY OWN RULE about writing. And that's to write what you love, write what your readers love, write what you're destined to write.
Instead, I write to flatter my own ego, to impress would-be critics and readers of other genre.
I ended up NOT being true to myself, and DAMN IT, I wasted almost two months lost in my own DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR. Dammit, dammit, dammit - to think I'd be able to use those words about my own work.
Yeah, I had sunk that low.
I became the kind of writer that I secretly felt bad for.
Writers who write to impress, rather than writers who simply write because it's what they love, and it's because they want their readers to FEEL the way they feel.
Here I am, talking about how thankful I am that God helped me write Polly 1-3 but then Books 1 and 2 sold less than MDB, which I also wrote during very bad times. PARANG ANG LABO, DI BA?
But then yes, I attended service this morning, and everything became clear, especially when Pastor R asked us to choose between PRODUCTIVITY and FRUITFULNESS.
For me, PRODUCTIVITY is working to primarily reward yourself. FRUITFULNESS is working to primarily reward others or for other people to benefit.
And this was my mistake when I was writing Prince of Darkness.
If you remember, I mentioned how I wanted POD to be this not-shallow-romance, able to inspire people to do or be certain things. And my God, I was so caught up with this idea that I forgot MY OWN RULE about writing. And that's to write what you love, write what your readers love, write what you're destined to write.
Instead, I write to flatter my own ego, to impress would-be critics and readers of other genre.
I ended up NOT being true to myself, and DAMN IT, I wasted almost two months lost in my own DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR. Dammit, dammit, dammit - to think I'd be able to use those words about my own work.
Yeah, I had sunk that low.
I became the kind of writer that I secretly felt bad for.
Writers who write to impress, rather than writers who simply write because it's what they love, and it's because they want their readers to FEEL the way they feel.
John 15: 16 You did not choose me but I chose you. And I appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask him in my name.
I lost sight of this. Of the reason God has blessed me with the opportunity to know EARLY in life what I am DESTINED to do, to know my PURPOSE. I was like Simon Peter---
John 21: 1-3
1 After these things Jesus showed himself again to the disciples by the Sea of Tiberias; and he showed himself in this way. 2 Gathered there together were Simon Peter, Thomas called the Twin,[a] Nathanael of Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two others of his disciples. 3 Simon Peter said to them, “I am going fishing.”
Remember that this took place after Jesus' death. And when Simon Peter said, I am going fishing, it was like an admission - him choosing to go back to his old way of life and forgetting what He had learned from Jesus.
This was what happened to me.
As I struggled over writing Prince of Darkness, I found myself falling back on my old ways, out of fear, laziness, pride - everything. I forgot to trust God. I forgot that I wrote because I love to write, I wrote because I want my readers to fall in love.
This was what happened to me.
As I struggled over writing Prince of Darkness, I found myself falling back on my old ways, out of fear, laziness, pride - everything. I forgot to trust God. I forgot that I wrote because I love to write, I wrote because I want my readers to fall in love.
In an ideal world, Polly 1 and 2 would sell even better than My Dutch Billionaire. But so far, it's not. It's NOT doing BADLY, it's just not doing as well as its predecessor. But I think this had to happen, too, because in a way, this has also reminded me WHY I love writing.
Because regardless of the sales, I'm DAMN PROUD of this series. (Sorry for all the cuss words, but I'm feeling pretty emotional). I sweat blood and tears on these books, poured my heart and soul in them. I know that, when the right people (meaning my target readers and not readers who hate romance for unreasonable reasons) read my work, I know they'll have the best time, and they'll think, ah, this is love. And this is the love I want to have / to keep experiencing.
So yeah, I'm DAMN PROUD. Yeah, repeating it. DAMN PROUD. Hehe.
And last night, I also had to watch Jerry Maguire again, for research purposes (daw, hehe), and there were a couple of great quotes that I think would apply to this post, too.
Because regardless of the sales, I'm DAMN PROUD of this series. (Sorry for all the cuss words, but I'm feeling pretty emotional). I sweat blood and tears on these books, poured my heart and soul in them. I know that, when the right people (meaning my target readers and not readers who hate romance for unreasonable reasons) read my work, I know they'll have the best time, and they'll think, ah, this is love. And this is the love I want to have / to keep experiencing.
So yeah, I'm DAMN PROUD. Yeah, repeating it. DAMN PROUD. Hehe.
And last night, I also had to watch Jerry Maguire again, for research purposes (daw, hehe), and there were a couple of great quotes that I think would apply to this post, too.
That's how you become great, man. Hang your balls out there!
All right, I'll tell you why you don't have your ten million dollars. Right now, you are a paycheck player. You play with your head, not your heart. In your personal life, heart. But when you get on the field it's all about what you didn't get. Who's to blame. Who won through the pass. Who's got the contract you don't. Who's not giving you your love. You know what, that is not what inspires people. That is not what inspires people! Shut up! Play the game, play it from your heart. And you know what, I'll show you the kwan. And that's the truth, man! That's the truth. Can you handle it?
Hey, I don't have all the answers. In life, to be honest, I failed as much as I have succeeded. But I love my wife. I love my life. And I wish you my kind of success.