Note: This post is a reflection on the sermon delivered by Pastor R. Chan at Grace Gospel Church. This is Part 1 of 3.
Luke 5: 1-6
1 Once while Jesus was standing beside the lake of Gennesaret, and the crowd was pressing in on him to hear the word of God, 2 he saw two boats there at the shore of the lake; the fishermen had gone out of them and were washing their nets. 3 He got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, and asked him to put out a little way from the shore. Then he sat down and taught the crowds from the boat. 4 When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into the deep water and let down your nets for a catch.” 5 Simon answered, “Master, we have worked all night long but have caught nothing. Yet if you say so, I will let down the nets.” 6 When they had done this, they caught so many fish that their nets were beginning to break.
Last October to the first 3 weeks of November, I struggled so much over writing and editing my WIP at that time, Prince of Darkness. I actually (literally) penned this story years back, and I had thought it would be a breeze to flesh it out now that the time has come to publish it. But while talking to my editor Wendy, I had this lightbulb moment about adding a prologue and changing the back story for my heroine.
The reason: I wanted my book to not just be the usual romance, but I also wanted it to inspire readers to appreciate how we're all different and to respect such differences.
The result: I wasn't able to write the story at all. I wrote various versions, wrote chapters and chapters only to erase them afterwards. My income was sinking BIG TIME and because I'm the breadwinner of my family, this worried me a lot. An increasingly loud voice in my mind was URGING me to just finish it and get it out. Anyway, readers seem to love all my stories, no matter what. But I just couldn't. I felt like I owe it to my readers and to myself not to put out a story that I don't love.
These were dark, dark days for me, and I didn't interact much with anyone. I kept my problems and worries to myself. I began to feel terrified, thinking that it was the end of my career. Because I just couldn't get it. Why wouldn't the words come? Why?
The reason: I wanted my book to not just be the usual romance, but I also wanted it to inspire readers to appreciate how we're all different and to respect such differences.
The result: I wasn't able to write the story at all. I wrote various versions, wrote chapters and chapters only to erase them afterwards. My income was sinking BIG TIME and because I'm the breadwinner of my family, this worried me a lot. An increasingly loud voice in my mind was URGING me to just finish it and get it out. Anyway, readers seem to love all my stories, no matter what. But I just couldn't. I felt like I owe it to my readers and to myself not to put out a story that I don't love.
These were dark, dark days for me, and I didn't interact much with anyone. I kept my problems and worries to myself. I began to feel terrified, thinking that it was the end of my career. Because I just couldn't get it. Why wouldn't the words come? Why?
5 Simon answered, “Master, we have worked all night long but have caught nothing.
And then one day, I forgot what made me think or realize this, but I thought back about how it was for me the month before (September). It was one of the most challenging months in my career, because I had to temporarily set aside work while looking after my boyfriend's sister while she was at the hospital and then there were the several trips we made to the E.R. because my mom was suffering from a mix of hypertension and middle life crisis, and, well it was really, really bad.
I had deadlines looming, but I had no choice. I had to put my family first. When things had settled down somewhat, I simply put my faith in God and let Him guide me.
The result: My Dutch Billionaire series became one of my BESTSELLING books ever. EVER!
So I remembered how it was that month, when I was facing so much more problems, and I realized that my greatest mistake was to keep struggling on my own, NOT asking help from God and not trusting in Him. I thought, if Prince of Darkness wasn't working, then it's not. I realized then that finishing POD was something I wanted to do not out of love or passion. Instead, it had become a matter of pride. I NEED TO FINISH THIS BECAUSE I CAN. I'M A SHITTY WRITER IF I CAN'T FINISH A MANUSCRIPT I STARTED. And because I felt that way, POD had turned into work instead of a passion project, like all my other books were.
So...even with only weeks to work on a new series, I told myself to trust in God and help me.
I had deadlines looming, but I had no choice. I had to put my family first. When things had settled down somewhat, I simply put my faith in God and let Him guide me.
The result: My Dutch Billionaire series became one of my BESTSELLING books ever. EVER!
So I remembered how it was that month, when I was facing so much more problems, and I realized that my greatest mistake was to keep struggling on my own, NOT asking help from God and not trusting in Him. I thought, if Prince of Darkness wasn't working, then it's not. I realized then that finishing POD was something I wanted to do not out of love or passion. Instead, it had become a matter of pride. I NEED TO FINISH THIS BECAUSE I CAN. I'M A SHITTY WRITER IF I CAN'T FINISH A MANUSCRIPT I STARTED. And because I felt that way, POD had turned into work instead of a passion project, like all my other books were.
So...even with only weeks to work on a new series, I told myself to trust in God and help me.
Yet if you say so, I will let down the nets.
And the words just flowed.
When they had done this, they caught so many fish that their nets were beginning to break.
To be honest, this post is something I was planning to write next week, after the release of Book 3 for Kyr and Pollyanna's story. But after today's sermon, I realized that God was telling me to write this post now, while it's still fresh and so that I may share a lesson on humility (more that on Part 3).
Anyway, I'm happy to share that because of God's grace, Books 1 and 2 of my series are now out and Book 3 will be out December 2.
God is amazing that way! I slaved over Prince of Darkness for months, writing every day, and NOTHING. But Pollyanna and the Greek Billionaire - I only worked on it for a short amount of time, and it's become one of those stories that I know I will be FOREVER proud of because I poured MY HEART AND SOUL in it.
Anyway, I'm happy to share that because of God's grace, Books 1 and 2 of my series are now out and Book 3 will be out December 2.
God is amazing that way! I slaved over Prince of Darkness for months, writing every day, and NOTHING. But Pollyanna and the Greek Billionaire - I only worked on it for a short amount of time, and it's become one of those stories that I know I will be FOREVER proud of because I poured MY HEART AND SOUL in it.
A Disciple's Lifestyle
In Pastor R's sermon, he highlighted these three things as necessary for a disciple's lifestyle.
- Reliance
- Repentance
- Remembrance
I hope this post inspires you. Whether it's writer's block or just a phase where you HATE everything you write, like how it was for me, put Your trust in God. He will not let you down.